I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
