Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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