My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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