Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
