She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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