The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
