There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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