come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
