All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
