i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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