It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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