So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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