This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
