D3 body, D1 cock
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
