me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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