i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
