gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
