She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
