I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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