I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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