i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
