pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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