i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
