He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
