I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize