All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
