4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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