theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
All the doctor said was why
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
