Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
