My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
