I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
