I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
