nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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