Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Your penis caused this!
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