just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
