Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
