Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
