no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
