I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
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