also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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