just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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