I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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