Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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