Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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