Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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