i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
