Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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