Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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