white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
