Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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