Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize