I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
