I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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