my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
