For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
