I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
