your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
