"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
