btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
