Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
